:> :> :> :)
Okay. I had to write this in response to a spark of
insanity I got from
reading another thread (You can thank your mother
for this,
C.l.e.o.p.a.t.ra.!)
Here it is!.....
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Cluckopatra 2525
"In the year 2525
Three chickens are still alive
They're fighting to reclaim the Earth
For the eggs of Poultry's rebirth....."
Hel and Clucko were scratching around in the underground
coop one day. Mauser (formerly a betrayer rooster, but since brainwashed)
pecked away on Sarge's back, as she relaxed into her box of straw. A glimmer
of movement from the holodoor caught Hel's attention.
"Pwoooork?" she thought,
and strutted over to the door...
Nothing happened. She tilted her head quizzically to one
side - then satisfied, strutted back.
Clucko fluffed up her feathers, and stepped perkily along
the 'chicken-run'. She did a little pirouhette, then saw the same strange
movement. She moved closer for a better look...
Suddenly, a hand appeared, seizing Clucko by her wing!
She squawked loudly, and pecked viciously at the offender, successfully
breaking his grip. Clucking frantickly, she scuttled back to the others.
The offender stepped into the room. It was a Clown. He
had Red Hair!
Hel nearly laid an egg...."Pweerk Pwoork!" she softly
clucked ... (Now translating all cluck into English...)
....."Ronald McDonald!"
The Clown man smiled - "Ahhh! Helen! How nice to see you!
I remember your father - so tender and Juicy..." he looked around and spyed
Mauser in the
corner... "But this is what I came for! My latest offering - The McRooster!"
- a burst of flame came from the device on his wrist. Mauser was caught
smack in the middle, and fell apart into perfectly cooked nuggets.
"He killed Mauser!" shrieked Clucko
"No, Mauser's just stunned," croaked
Sarge - "Get him!!!"
The three chickens lunged at Ronald. He held his hands
up to shield his eyes - they were in too close range (free range?!) to
fire upon! He staggered
backwards under the furious feathered onslaught...skidded on one of
Mauser's giblets, falling out the doorway, down the shaft!!!
"That was easy~!" exclaimed Cleo.
"Too easy"... brooded Sarge.
"Voice? Are you there?"...said Hel.
"Yes chicky baby, here I am!!!"
(Why did the voice always seem to remind her of that archaic Earth
TV show with Muppets? - Hel shook her head. Blue. If she could put a face
to the
voice, she was sure it would be blue.)
"Mauser's fallen apart - we just got
attacked by Ronald Mc Donald. The lab's a mess."
"Camilla, my darling, you must go..."
"My name's NOT Camilla. It's Hel."
"Hell or no hell, let us not argue,
for I've come up with a dangerous (yet strangely fascinating!) feat for
you, that must be done! I'd do it myself,
but..."
Hel sighed. "What is it?"
"In order to save the world, you must
go...(dramatic pause)... to the Surface!Your objective is to secure one
of the wings of the headless Chickies, that patrol the earth... - Farewell,
my feathered sweet!"
"Voice! Wait, VOICE!...damn."
"What is it Hel?" queried Sarge
Hel was grim. "Voice wants us to go to the surface to
get a Chickie wing."
"So? Let's go now!!"said Clucko. "I've
never been before..."
....
The three chickens flew bravely up the shaft. Entering
through a faded pair of golden arches, Clucko shuddered and puffed out
her feathers. "This place gives me the creeps!"
Hel was staring straight ahead at a dusty disused old
counter, eyes slightly unfocussed.
Sarge pecked her gently. "Hel, snap out of it! What's
wrong?"
"I thought...saw my Father ... he was...
nevermind. Let's get out of here. What's the best way to the surface?"
"Directly above."
They looked up. There was a rendition of a large yellow
M painted there. Someone had graffitied "Would you like Fries with that?"
in black spraypaint
over it. Flying up, they gripped the disused light fittings in their
claws, and pecked rapidly at the crumbling plaster. Soon there was a hole
just big enough to squeeze through.
...
An empty field. Suddenly a wing pushed through the grass,
into the air. Sarge, with her special goggles fitting snugly, pulled herself
up and onto the surface, the
others followed close behind.
They fluffed themselves out and preened the soil from
their feathers, before heading to the safety of some nearby trees.
Hel wobbled a bit. "It's hideous", she said as her vision
weaved.
"Don't worry, you'll get used to it",
said Sarge.
Clucko lagged behind. She couldn't resist.. "oh God it's
BEAUTIFUL!" she crowed!
The others fixed her with disapproving beady eyes.
"Shh!! I think I hear one coming..."
Sarge let a little blue lense slide over her eye.
....
In the distance, a large silver object, that bore vague
similarities to a headless chicken, headed their way. Hel and Sarge started
pulling away large clumps of grass.
"What are you doing?"asked Clucko.
Sarge paused briefly "You'll see."
The soil was exposed, as the hideous silver misshapen
"Chickie" loomed above them. Weapons sprung out all over it.
"Batter up!"
Hel and Sarge activated their eleven-herbs-and-spices
batter-shields. They turned their backs on the hovering monstrosity and
scuffed fiercely into the soil. Bits of rock, sticks and mud flew up at
the Chickie, catching it square on. It weaved about, momentarily blinded.
"NOW!" shouted Sarge.
With a massive flurry of feathers, Hel flew up and scratched
clawed and pecked her way though one of the 'wings'. It fell to the ground.
"Hurry! Sarge, Clucko, help me lift
this thing!!"
The three chickens scooped up the giant 'wing' and scuttled
towards the hidden hole as the Chickie turned and fired at them. Huge streamers
of chicken soup plastered the ground! It splashed over their battershields.
"Mine's weakening, Hel! Hurry!"
"Mine too - almost there!"
Suddenly the Chickie dropped a giant egg that exploded,
just as they managed to find the hole. The tide of yellow yolk was nearly
upon them as they narrowly squawked down to safety.
"Phew. That was close!" Hel said. Then
she noticed blue sparking coming from a wound on Sarge's leg.
"Oh Sarge - you're a 'Rooster'?"
"No... that hasn't been decided on yet.
It's just speculation."
They looked at each other blankly.
"I don't know where that came from",
said Sarge. "Sorry."
"Whew. Let's go.."
They jumped out the arches, and down into the shaft -
flapping in tandem with the 'wing' gripped tightly in their claws.
..........
Later on, as a slightly overgrilled (but somehow together
again) Mauser examined the 'wing' in delight, Cluckopatra asked "So what
was all that about, anyway?"
Hel replied: "Well, not long after you were frozen all
those years ago, Colonel Sanders decided that the only way to make the
world a better place, was to make KFC available to everyone. He became
so powerful, when he built his "Chickies" that pretty soon, most of his
competition was either destroyed or driven underground - even his Arch
enemy, that Clown guy. Unfortunatly, something went haywire, and the Chickies
began destroying all living competition, including us real chickens. Even
the Colonel "disappeared". It was good in one way - we were no longer being
turned into countless burgers, but they must have felt threatened by our
reality. We were all forced to seek shelter underground.
"So what's with the 'wing' then?"
Sarge answered: "There are those who would still try to
eat us, that's why we needed to secure this 'weaponry' - hopefully we can
adapt it to suit our own wings. We've been successful so far, other less
smarter animals were not as fortunate in surviving the burger business"
"Ahh! Now I understand why I haven't
seen any cows..."
Sarge looked at her. "What's a cow?"
The End!
:> :> :> :)
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